• jsemugaza


First things first: I apologize for taking so long to make a post. Contrary to popular belief, pumping out content is more sporadic than expected (meaning I literally started writing this post in a deli).

So thank you for sticking around, and if you’re new here, thanks for stopping by. For the last couple months, I’ve been working all over Ontario. My current job predominantly involves me talking to a lot of young people about their futures. That being said, their futures are broad; hopefully my advice acts as a guide to help these individuals make their own (and hopefully the right) decisions.

One of the many benefits of my job is the freedom to travel, which comes in handy when I want to connect with old friends in other cities. However, constant travelling means constantly being TIRED. Long days, abnormal driving hours, and constant talking create the perfect recipe for exhaustion. Add a splash of social interaction, and you’ve got yourself a very sleepy stew.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with the people I care about. My issue is

that I struggle to “do it all.” I run myself thin trying to connect with everyone, and while I cherish one-on-one time, there isn’t always enough of me to go around. During thanksgiving, I found out my kid brother was feeling stressed about school, worrying about the same things I’ve dealt with for years. Naturally, I placed some of the blame on myself because I wasn’t there for him. It hit me hard, realizing my absence had become so large. This wasn’t a friend that lived several time zones away, but rather the kid I taught to ride a bike and play video games. How could I have let his life slip past mine? Proximity is defined as the “nearness of space, time or relationship.” My life has always consisted of a fair amount of moving, making proximity a fluid concept. Friends rarely became “best friends,” because I knew sooner or later, I would have move again and make new ones. That changed when social media became the norm. Suddenly, every relationship had the opportunity to be permanent, which ironically made things a more difficult. How does one juggle old friends with long distance friends, or with new ones you see on a regular basis? Does one take priority over the other? What happens during the spaces between conversations? This question seems to pop up more frequently as I get older, especially during my birthday. Is it the influx of old and new friends gifting me well wishes on this special day? The yearly reminder that my life is slowly getting shorter, paired with the frantic mental reflection of the choices I’ve made & interactions I’ve had? One may never truly know. But as I get older, the physical reunions become so much more important. There’s a feeling of anticipation you get before you reunite, thinking about all the shenanigans that will ensue, the stories you’ll share, the natural inclination to reconnect with someone you miss.

Now, I’m not saying that you need to go and rekindle every lost friendship you’ve ever had (however if you were planning to do so be my guest), but it doesn’t hurt to look around and see what changed. Reaching out a welcoming hand to an old friend may alter the course of someone’s day, week, or life in ways we can’t begin to understand; knowing that we are valued is worth more than any gift.

As the weather gets colder and the days get shorter, our energy levels tend to drop due to the lack of Vitamin D we are receiving. Whether its a phone call, text, meme or getting out of the house and grabbing a drink or sharing a meal, make sure that you check in with your friends and loved ones. The change in seasons affects all of us differently and receiving a kind word from a friend is never a bad thing. Let me know what you think! Have you ever felt your proximity radar going off? Did you react to it and reached out to that individual? And what came of it? I would love to hear your stories and what came of your encounters. I was going to slap on a Christmas track and call it a day, but I realize not everyone who reads this may not celebrate the holiday so instead here's Stranded by Flight Facilities featuring The Broods, Reggie Watts & Saro; a song that quite frankly has been on my mind for quite some time (just click on the cassette below and enjoy).

Thanks for dropping by and as always, Do Good and Be Good, because you’re already Great.

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